Scarred for life…my “ intentional scar”
I have 28 intricate pieces of tattoos…how many do you have?
Yes that’s no lie at
all, I have 28 intricate pieces of tattoos and they make up my story, my
journey and it tells of my life experiences.
I got inked when I was
27-I got 27 intricate pieces of tattoos on the 27th April (which is my
birthday)…and who would have known that life was slowly going to change for me
thereafter.
Let me tell you a
story about it…
You see my body is
quite sensitive. I have been living with a health condition or a disease for
more than ten years that has no cure, it can only be managed- but it causes so
much pain and yes-ugly scars, that remind me of medicines and surgeries-
painful scars…I have scars that smiles a big smile ‘hip to hip’. I have scars
from my chicken pox that I got when I was 16 but my body started ‘reacting’, when I turned 21 and it continues to cause so much pain and yes it’s a ‘living’
scar(s). I have a scar near my belly button that was a
result of draining ‘bad blood’ out of me.
I even have a scar
that is approx. 3cm on the back of my head, close to my ear from a fight I had with my
older bro…oh yes I also have a scar right on my forehead (also a result of
kicking my older bro in the balls when I was 7 and I decided to run off but
stumbled and fell on the gravel road of Korovou- a rural town where I grew up
which is 45 mins away from Suva)
I could say that I
have been scarred by people’s bitterness and nastiness- scarred but definitely
healed by saying “through it all”.
With all these scars
that I never wanted, I knew I had to learn to love them, care for them, live
with them and accept these scars as mine and mine alone- I had to accept them
for the stories they all had to tell.
So one day I decided
to change these scars that used to be painful reminders and decided on getting
my very own “intentional scar (s)”…yes I decided on getting inked and decided
that scars don’t have to only tell painful stories of my ‘disease’ but also of
my strength, my magic and of my life.
I got dragonflies and
dandelions…I couldn’t think of anything else that was more fitting and right!
So why dragonflies and
dandelions you may wonder? Well, for me I love wild flowers- it perhaps has a
lot to do with who I am and also how I always want to be one with nature and how
I often try to associate myself with ‘earthy’ things.
I see that reflected in my
personality, the way I dress and the way I move my hips as tunes take charge of
my soul…I close my eyes and dance and feel…for me dandelions are something
similar to that…dandelions also represent ‘healing’, ‘growth’, ‘survival’, ‘new
beginnings’, ‘illumination’ and ‘warmth’.
If I had to be a flower this would be it! And a wild one at that!!
Now moving onto
dragonflies…
Dragonflies are
beautiful creatures, their wings are so intricately created, and it reflects
light and come in different sizes and colours (don't confuse them with damselflies- though i love them too).
I am particularly drawn to green
and red ones! They don’t live that long but they make the most of their life.
They fly like no one is watching; they represent life and new beginnings for
me.
Dragonflies are also a constant reminder that I need to ‘live in the now’. They
represent Change.
Can you believe that each time I see a dragonfly I am to
expect a major change in my life…I no longer regard it as a coincidence because
It has happened way too many times. Now I embrace and look forward to these
changes, whether it is positive or negative- I accept it and am thankful for
all the changes.
No regrets whatsoever
though I feel my younger bro (@mestupinks) needs to take my suggestions on
board :-)
I am glad that he did my first tattoo… and he also refrained me, getting ‘someone who used to be special’ name inked on my
body!
My other tattoo that I
hold dear to my heart was done by my older bro (@billyblaze).
I got “Abhay”
tattooed in Sanskrit and it means “fearless”.
I got this right after my divorce
got finalised and this was also the day I emptied my savings, resigned from my
old job, accepted my new job, bought my ticket to travel the USA :-) and did things I never imagined of doing- like
meeting strangers and having the most amazing time of my life… going biking
in Tennessee (great Smoky Mountains- shit! that was painful for my bum).
This
tattoo is a daily reminder for me, to not only be true to who I am, but to also
be fearless- life is an experience and it only is magical if I allow it to be!
I journey with all my scars- intentional or not and i know as i grow older i will continue to have more additions to this slender body of mine :-)
Would these be my last
tattoos…Hell No!!
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