The wandering soul of the dragonfly monk

  Death: the silent and peaceful twin of life and love   Each time death visits me, it brings along a friend- grief . This pandemic has brought me closer to darkness- not in the traditional sense of how one would associate the ‘feelings, emotions and the actions’ connected with this word, but rather openly welcoming it into my life, acknowledging it and for the first time in years allowing it to stay and be at peace with it. Some of you may not be able to understand this or grasp how one can feel this- but maybe one day I truly hope you can feel what I feel and maybe when that happens, we can chat more about it. In the meantime, I will try and share how ‘grief’ and ‘death’ visited me. The past year and this year have dished out a number of deaths our way- way too many I tell you! but that is the cycle of life, of reincarnation and death. Last year, I lost a dear friend of mine, a dear soul that shared his magic with me, and I hope I shared some magic with him through...

“…How does one speak of violence when their own story of violence is invisible in their own lives…she woke up black & blue and the next morning it was a different hue…who knew rainbows are only visible when your back is against the sun…” (N.B: I do what I do because of the anecdotal stories I have somewhat summarised below. It is this pain and anger that fuels the fire inside of me…I will continue to do what I do...till I am no more). “…Many refuse to talk about their stories of violence because of the stigma and discrimination. Some are simply not comfortable talking about it. Some are scared. I have shared some stories below to shed some light to how real violence is to many…the stories below I must say have been difficult to talk about- though painfully written and shared and experienced- the stories shared below, are of women who managed to escape...they painfully lost a great deal, but they are warriors- they are rebuilding their lives, they are stronger than...

Divorce…Separation…what’s it like? What did you do? “A mix of cold sweats, heart beating faster than normal, twisted tummy with scared butterflies fluttering around and a feeling of yet another headache coming along when I think of divorce and separation”, and these are feelings and emotions I wrote down when I was in a “one digit” age group! At that young age, I knew exactly what I wanted and where I wanted to be in life. I knew that I was going to adopt children, I knew I was going to be very independent and that would mean working hard to challenge my INFJ tendencies and personality traits, but going through my old diaries and notebooks, I only see well written stories and articles of the situations of our world and a reminder that I didn’t need a ‘man’ to make everything complete. I was a child- how did I know all these things? Perhaps I knew something at that age that the adult me refused to acknowledge.   Well, I got married young in my early twenties an...

My uninvited, rude and disrespectful guest- Endometriosis What if, what if what we see is all we got?   Did I keep some fire hidden away in my heart to keep me fighting to each surprising day? Things have gotten real with us...oh yes it has! One day, I woke up and you were there, and you never did want to leave. You are my mystery one, my painful guilt of a regret, you are my painful dream of you and me. Our hate relationship has lasted longer than most of those 'love relationships' i have had with soulful souls.  Did I make God unhappy, is that why I have, ‘endo’? Perhaps God knew me better than anyone else and perhaps gave it to a selected few that could perhaps handle it with 'style' and continue to look for the brightness at the end of the dark tunnel of this disease. To die beneath the veins and my body wasting away to the pain that embodies this disease and once and for all to look at ‘endo’ in the eye and say, I welcome you, I thank ...