My dearest Fred

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"Tears are words that need to be written."
-Paulo Coelho



My dearest NLB

They say that time will bring healing
That these wounds will become scars
That with time
Grief becomes happiness
Pain becomes strength
I wish it was easier to accept 
But time did not bring healing
~pain remains
~grief is ever so present
~while pain is just that - pain

I am still angry at the world
I am angry

I, on many occasions, imagine,
imagine, what you would be doing now
would you still be flying with the birds?
I imagine our conversations 
would it still be the same? 
would we still have a lot in common?
would we still view the world the same way?

I am angry 
I am selfish
because your passing
was sudden
I find it hard to accept

I am angry
That you were not able to see the world

I am angry 
that we didn't get to witness more of each others happiness and sorrows

I am angry 
that you are not here

I am angry

Life has not been the same since you left,
For most of us at least.
You left and took a huge part of us
You took a huge part of me
No one has ever replaced you
I don't want anyone to ever replace you
The void remains
It will always be there

What i have now are simply
memories
smiles
pictures
and your writings

I miss you my dear Fred
I love you
I thank you for being a huge part of my early years and young adult life
I celebrate you
I celebrate your life










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