The wandering soul of the dragonfly monk

To the love that I never lost… “I have watched love pass us both by Not sure if it was meant for us or for someone else And sometimes I wonder if we were even meant to be I wanted to hold you till we died I wanted you and only you I loved you unconditionally We both made a vow A vow of ‘through it all’” Love did not envelope me in her bosom the first time it happened, I was not sure if I should even love, let alone be worthy of love at that particular time in my life. Out of a serious long-term relationship (with someone whom I dearly loved- knew we could never be happy together, we were simply two different individuals- and I broke his heart) and I got myself into this relationship that I knew was going to work. I said goodbye to all the loves I had, I said goodbye to the love I had for myself and hoped that someday, someday that I could revisit all those loves with open arms again and happiness. Now I see, how young and scared I was at...

The Journey of this soulful wandering dragonfly monk... She knew exactly how she got there, All those tears and laughter did not go to waste. She looked back and smiled... She had created a rainbow. She quickly wanders around this space of silence and enjoys who she has become. Not because of what she has achieved (though important nonetheless), she is forever grateful for those tears that she shed for the loss of the love...the love she had for herself. It was those moments that truly redefined her being. She had cheated; yes she cheated herself on becoming someone she hardly knew. Along this journey, she met many soulful humans.  Humans, when they walked, walked to their own tunes, when they danced, you know they became one with the drum beats and the strumming of the guitar. She also met those humans, who were lost, She cared for them but could not really be of any help, Because she felt that one needs to wander or get lost in order to find onese...

My uninvited, rude and disrespectful guest- Endometriosis What if, what if what we see is all we got?   Did I keep some fire hidden away in my heart to keep me fighting to each surprising day? Things have gotten real with us...oh yes it has! One day, I woke up and you were there, and you never did want to leave. You are my mystery one, my painful guilt of a regret, you are my painful dream of you and me. Our hate relationship has lasted longer than most of those 'love relationships' i have had with soulful souls.  Did I make God unhappy, is that why I have, ‘endo’? Perhaps God knew me better than anyone else and perhaps gave it to a selected few that could perhaps handle it with 'style' and continue to look for the brightness at the end of the dark tunnel of this disease. To die beneath the veins and my body wasting away to the pain that embodies this disease and once and for all to look at ‘endo’ in the eye and say, I welcome you, I thank ...

(A letter to the “INFJ” self – Me) Dear Me, Lets take a train out of this place and let the wind dance with your curls. Lets smile a bit less to strangers and lets participate in small talks every now and then, who knows who you might meet and who might just make a memory worth smiling about. Its ok to not plan things and live out of your diary and planner- the world won’t stop. Time wont stop if you missed out on putting your white shirts with your black shirts and its ok to not place your teacup on a coaster. Even though you love your sleep and enjoy watching the sunset, wake up an hour earlier and enjoy the sunrise, let the sun kiss your soft face and let your eyes tear up.   Empty all your savings and go to Japan, Ireland, New Orleans, Amazons, and bike around Europe and be a bum in Italy. When you turn 33, can you shave all your hair, go trekking in the Himalayas and live with the monks at the monastery- and when you do this, can you only take...