My uninvited, rude and disrespectful guest- Endometriosis

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My uninvited, rude and disrespectful guest- Endometriosis


What if, what if what we see is all we got?  Did I keep some fire hidden away in my heart to keep me fighting to each surprising day? Things have gotten real with us...oh yes it has!

One day, I woke up and you were there, and you never did want to leave.

You are my mystery one, my painful guilt of a regret, you are my painful dream of you and me. Our hate relationship has lasted longer than most of those 'love relationships' i have had with soulful souls. 

Did I make God unhappy, is that why I have, ‘endo’? Perhaps God knew me better than anyone else and perhaps gave it to a selected few that could perhaps handle it with 'style' and continue to look for the brightness at the end of the dark tunnel of this disease.

To die beneath the veins and my body wasting away to the pain that embodies this disease and once and for all to look at ‘endo’ in the eye and say, I welcome you, I thank you- you and I have become one, we will become one and we will be together forever.

Most of the days, I used to lock myself up in my room and would always think that I don’t deserve the sunshine’s rays on my pale brown skin.

But as time went by and people have come into my life and have left, I knew that my body (and endo) was here to stay and that I was going to fight for ‘us’ and tell ‘endo’ that he was not welcome anymore and though he may make an appearance I was in charge.

You have put me through a lot; you have picked on my veins and used a needle to pull them apart. You have cut my wounds open again and poured all your pain in it like it was open to you as well. 

You make me die more often than once. With you I am proud to say that I have experienced death each and every time. With you, I can confidently say that I have been to hell and back and took heaven with me each time I was there. Yes i made this hell that you have created quite a magical heavenly place. 

So now, we bleed together, we hold hands and have become that special two.  

I now tell you endo, my world is no longer at your feet, I bring sunshine back into this dreary painful life and I refuse to let you tell me I am wrong. 

My body shines and radiates, I will kill you slowly with my happiness and over-indulgence of love.

You may have just been the best thing that has ever happened to me coz I am also here to stay and not going anywhere! 

You will no longer shelter me 'endo'! you will always be the uninvited, rude and disrespectful guest who continues to show up in my life. 

Comments

  1. Sharky16 November 2014 at 14:56

    The healing power of words are magic, whether they are your own or woven by someone else, interwoven into your own.

    Have you read any of her posts: http://vanishaslife.blogspot.com/search/label/Infertility

    ReplyDelete

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