Free yourself from Mental Slavery!

I am a human version of a sponge!

I have gotten to a point now that I can longer breathe that fresh air and am no longer sunkissed but rather ‘sunburnt’.

Its tiring to be constantly listening to people’s whinging, whining, complaints, people gossiping, seeing people being nasty, saying mean things about each other to other people yet when it comes to them coming face to face to that person, they ‘wear’ a smile and are so lovely and pretend that everything is beautiful.

Wouldn’t it save everyone hell a lot of energy, time and tears to just bloody tell the person how you feel?! (in a constructive non violent manner that is)

What book is everyone reading? I clearly missed it- because from what I can see people keep on avoiding the problem yet they have the energy in the world to keep on replaying their story and each time its being replayed, it gets nasty and nastier.

I have found myself recently being in a somewhat similar situation in the sense that everyone is a walking ball of negativity and I absorb it all. Yes that’s my weakness- I absorb energy (often negativity) and as a result of that I feel real low about life in general.

I know the world we live in is not perfect but my world is my kinda perfect and when it is fed with so much negativity, hate and nastiness my world is upside down- I am unable to breathe. Yes in some ways I give them power (and that makes me feel somewhat worse)

I literally had trouble breathing, was claustrophobic, had anxiety attacks and I was hyperventilating at the same time. I honestly thought it was due to the fact I did not have lunch (but I was snacking all through out), I thought it was due to the lack of sugar (but I had a coffee with spoonfuls of sugar, cookies and fruits), then I decided that it was definitely my iron levels. Later in the night I realised I was struggling to breathe because of all the negativities I was faced with these couple of weeks (on a daily basis). 

I simply can’t take all these negativity. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am no perfect saint- I have engaged in conversations that often has been quite nasty- but I would most certainly immediately remind myself and the others around me about how “its nasty” to be engaging in conversations like that and if we really had a problem to often confront the person or deal with the issue at hand or admit our own faults and I am so proud to say that I do surround myself with amazing close friends and even family who would realise that dwelling in negativity will not do anyone any good and we are constant reminders to each other to be kind.  

I was finally able to express my anger for the first time regarding my ex at a recent monologue just two weeks ago and that was a big deal for me, so you can imagine how I am and can be.

I often do sit and listen to people sharing and over sharing and that’s when I draw the line between “this is not going anywhere” and “‘this’ person will continue to dwell in this” or “this person is doing something to help themselves out of this mess”.

The bitching that takes place here in Suva, on social media, the hate speeches and messages by people, the fake-ness of people who work towards creating an environment that is unpleasant is appalling. I now understand why we can never be happy- the simple reason is because people are simply nasty and there is no changing that.

Please don’t confuse my statement with me saying that its not ok to be ‘angry’ or be able to vent or express yourself because of some hurt and pain on social media or in general because of human rights violations etc but what I am trying to say and what I am bringing to attention is the manner that people talk about other people on social media or in general, yet they would never be in a position to say it to their face in a constructive non violent manner. In case they didn’t realise it- for me that’s Bullying! And for these people who are so vocal about their stand on bullying are the very ones doing it in a manner that I regard as simply nasty.

The other thing I don’t understand is, why are there many people who are huge followers of ‘self-pity’?, they talk about their pain and issues out in public seeking some sort of ‘yes I am on your team’ response, but when that doesn’t take place you are being portrayed as someone who gives unsolicited opinion and a whole façade of ‘niceness’ is what you get to experience.

Yes this is quite personal and just like my other posts they all have been quite personal!

Oh the façade- I hate, the negativity- I hate, and people who keep on exuding their negativity makes me feel so weak.

I had to express myself in this written form just as how I have expressed myself to these people straight up!

This mental slavery shit is real!  I need to be free and it begins NOW!!!