Two-faced

-

Two-faced


By dusk, 
everyday, 
I remove my mask
And each dawn I put it back on – again.
Such has been my life and such has been my way of life for a while...

I hide nothing that may cause death to one
But I hide so much, so I do not cause death to my soul
I am tired of being two-faced
The weight I carry with me is getting heavier and I want to rest
The burden is unbearable
 I shed my tears in hope that it will water my heart for a new life

As the dew settles on the green grass
And as the first ray of sun, shines through the horizon
I sigh and wake – still thankful that I can still breathe, I can still feel and I live…
Being a prisoner of your own mind is a greater war- fought with every breath of life

I know not- what free means anymore
I fear that freedom comes in the form of laughter and a happy soul
The mask I wear is of great strength, is of wisdom and is of peace-

As darkness greets the sunset, 
my face is unmasked, 
my pores are wide open, 
my skin feels the coldness of the air around me
I see blood bleeding out of my soul
I see the rawness of my feelings
I see the confusions
I see my mind travelling like the speed of light
I see the sickness, the illness- what the world laughs at, what the world don’t understand, what the world does not accept
I see Me

I wear the mask
To hide
I wear the mask
To survive
I wear the mask
To live
I wear the mask because I love my soul more than my mind- I shan’t allow it to die a cruel death
I wear the mask
Because I simply cannot face Me!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Each time death visits me, it brings along a friend- grief.

-
Image
  Death: the silent and peaceful twin of life and love   Each time death visits me, it brings along a friend- grief . This pandemic has brought me closer to darkness- not in the traditional sense of how one would associate the ‘feelings, emotions and the actions’ connected with this word, but rather openly welcoming it into my life, acknowledging it and for the first time in years allowing it to stay and be at peace with it. Some of you may not be able to understand this or grasp how one can feel this- but maybe one day I truly hope you can feel what I feel and maybe when that happens, we can chat more about it. In the meantime, I will try and share how ‘grief’ and ‘death’ visited me. The past year and this year have dished out a number of deaths our way- way too many I tell you! but that is the cycle of life, of reincarnation and death. Last year, I lost a dear friend of mine, a dear soul that shared his magic with me, and I hope I shared some magic with him through...
Read more

My dearest Fred

-
Image
"Tears are words that need to be written." -Paulo Coelho My dearest NLB They say that time will bring healing That these wounds will become scars That with time Grief becomes happiness Pain becomes strength I wish it was easier to accept  But time did not bring healing ~pain remains ~grief is ever so present ~while pain is just that - pain I am still angry at the world I am angry I, on many occasions, imagine, imagine, what you would be doing now would you still be flying with the birds? I imagine our conversations  would it still be the same?  would we still have a lot in common? would we still view the world the same way? I am angry  I am selfish because your passing was sudden I find it hard to accept I am angry That you were not able to see the world I am angry  that we didn't get to witness more of each others happiness and sorrows I am angry  that you are not here ...
Read more

She died again today

-
Today she died Last week it was that young woman- This month it was a friend’s colleague Few months ago it was a friend's niece                                                   Few years ago it could have been me Early this year it was a distant relative  3 years ago it was a dear friend 6 years ago it could have been my mother 30 years ago, it was my namesake. When will we do something? When will we stop saying," It's none of my business"                                              ”You made the choice"                                                "it’s normal" When will ...
Read more