We all have become the big elephant in our own misery

 I immerse my soul in words so I can live a little longer. I allow my mind to take the lead, while my pen follows, capturing each and every feeling so it breathes life into my heart…such has been my life and then I step out of ‘my world’ and I am joined with a mixed bunch of humans.

I am sickened to the core of my being, to be constantly surrounded by so much agony, hate, negativity, and self-loving humans. It has been a while since i have met someone, who was genuinely happy to be breathing, to be alive or to be laughing- apart from the few people i know but their auras/lights are dimmed. 

It has been a while since I have heard someone speak kind words to each other, of one another or to the self.

It has been a while since I met someone who was simply thankful to just be.

I don’t know when and why people stopped caring- how could I have missed it?

So much negativity has become so toxic! It’s so contagious.

People are trying so hard to be different that they don’t realise that they are merely the same. It has somewhat become a verse from one of my favourite book (Veronika decides to die)- “…You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness…”

Every now and then, I go up to the balcony (more frequently to be honest) to reflect on life and my role in all this chaos. By being on the balcony, things are then put into perspective, there is so much clarity, I gain more love, respect, energy and strength while at the same time I acknowledge my own shortcomings, pain and issues. (By the way- when I say going up to the balcony- it basically means ‘ to get some distance from the challenging situation in order to gain perspective, or removing the self from a situation and seeing things from another level/perspective)

I have found people to be constantly putting others down so that (perhaps) they can feel better about themselves or to feel adequate enough (I suppose). They don’t want to face the elephant, which in most situations and cases is themselves- the self!

They constantly “bitchin’ “ and not one ounce of positivity can be felt and their negativity sometimes absorbs my ‘orange/green aura’.

Is it wrong of me to think that people are always on the move that they have forgotten to get in-touch with their own emotions and themselves, that in the process of rushing to be successful, to be popular or to put the next status update that they have forgotten to be kind and to love themselves abit more.

It seems like most people I know (or not) have gotten it wrong except for me…but then again, it reminds me of another favourite line from one of my favourite book (Veronika decides to die), “…Collective madness is called sanity...”

I hope people could simply start looking at themselves abit more and start asking the hard questions rather than constantly pushing it on others so they can feel good about themselves. I wish people could stop making fun of others and challenge the normative narrative.

I am no perfect human- but I sure do know that this mind and heart of mine is constantly being overworked.

I am constantly going up to the balcony to evaluate the sources of pains, frustrations and sadness while at the same time trying to be thankful and grateful for all that I have.

I am thankful to be alive and I will continue to be grateful for whatever little I have. 

So before you start belittling someone else’s worth, it is perhaps time to ask yourself why you are doing so and who will reap the benefits. We are the elephants in our own misery, gossips and judgments!